verboodles
words life beer laughter words life beer laughter

in other news, the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's(2005)winners:

• Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 
• Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 
•  Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
• Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 
• Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 
• Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 
• Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 
• Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 
• Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
• Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
• Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
• Glibido: All talk and no action.
• Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
• Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating  

this is a pretty happy list. i love ignoranus, and i have tried to use it at least once everyday. one more attempt at pointless perfection.

i only have these words to add:

• masturbake (v): when you play with yourself while waiting for the dough to rise.
• meataphysical (adj): when vegetarians pretend to eat meat (of or relating to a reality beyond what is perceptible to the senses)
• defecake (n): when you buy a cake? and put it in the car? and drive over potholes and stuff and do sudden brakes? that when you actually get to deliver the cake the cake looks like shit?

i am a bad boy, and i ate some beer:

i guess some things never change, huh. may your lives be filled with pointless perfection.